


Have I done enough?

by theL3monTart



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Depressed Lance, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, First time tagging, Hearing Voices, Hurt Lance (Voltron), Hurt/Comfort, Insecure Lance (Voltron), Lance (Voltron) is a Mess, Langst, M/M, Other, Team Bonding, is this how we do it?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-02
Updated: 2017-07-18
Packaged: 2018-11-08 01:40:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11071386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theL3monTart/pseuds/theL3monTart
Summary: He wanted to stay with themHe wanted to be apart of the team.He wanted to prove to them that he was good enough to stand beside them as comrades-As fellow paladins of Voltron.....Nothing you do will ever be enough.//////Lance trains every night, hoping to be a better paladin and do more for his team. He wonders if he's doing enough. Will anything he do ever be enough?The voice he hears tells him otherwise.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Sup people! Welcome to my first ever Ao3 fic! Comments and ways I can improve are always greatly appreciated. 
> 
> I must confess, I've only watched like.. 5 episodes of Voltron so far, (please don't kill me), but I've read hundreds of fics/works, so I think it'll be okay? Anyways, let me know what you guys think! 
> 
> Thanks for reading! :)

Lance used the back of his arm to quickly wipe off the sweat on his forehead before furrowing his eyebrows in concentration.

He aimed his bayard at the gladiator charging towards him and fired a clean shot right through its head. The machine spasmed momentarily before it slammed into the ground where it remained motionless.

Lance let out a breath as he stored his bayard and strolled out the room; which was now in complete disarray. The training room was now, quite literally, a robot graveyard. Broken gladiators lay all over the room; letting out sparks from their exposed wires and joints.

Some of the machines had dents or were missing limb and panels- exhibiting Lance’s improvement in hand to hand combat, while the majority of the robots were littered with holes; no doubt the result of being blasted by Lance’s bayard with precise accuracy.

There had to be hundreds of them lying around the training room- but Lance paid them no mind.

 He was used to that amount by now.

He activated the room’s auto-cleaning mechanism before heading out and towards the showers. The blue paladin was little sore, a few cuts and bruises here and there, but it was nothing a good night’s sleep couldn’t fix.

 

 ‘ _Keith and Shiro could handle much worse_.’ He thought to himself as he reached the bathrooms.

 

After a quick shower, he changed into his pajamas and got into bed; falling asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.

This was Lance’s nightly routine nowadays, and it’s been this way for the past 5 months. After eating dinner with his team and their 2 Altean allies, he would hang with them for a bit; crack a few jokes, make fun of Keith, the usual. Before excusing himself, claiming he needed his ‘beauty sleep’.

“One does not get this good looking without proper care and maintenance you know!” He would joke and the rest would groan or laugh as he walked out of the room.

Lance would sleep in his clothes- since it saved him time later from changing, and would nap for about 2 vargas before waking up at about 1 AM Earth time.

Lance would then go to the training room and peek his head around the corner to make sure a certain red paladin wasn’t in there. That mullet head probably spent almost half of his day in that room; though Lance probably now spent close to that amount of time as well.

Not including the training sessions in the day, the blue paladin would stay there and train for at least 3-4 vargas, before calling it a night; taking a shower and finally getting proper rest, before waking up and greeting his team with a smile in the morning.

 

In the afternoon, after his training sessions with the team, Lance would find the time to visit the castle library. It was hardly ever used so he didn’t need to worry about anyone else finding him in there.

Lance spent a good portion of his afternoon learning to read and speak Altean, which he was quite confident in now.

The mice turned out to be pleasant company. They would shake or nod their heads whenever he pronounced something wrong, and tried to correct him by miming with their hands or tails. It was hard to understand what they meant half the time, but Lance was grateful for their assistance nonetheless.

Of course, he knew he could always ask Coran of Allura for help, but they were always so busy and he didn’t want to bother them any more than he already did.

He even found some books of Galran language and was learning to read that as well. I mean who knows? What if he or his team were captured and they needed to get out and the exit signs were in Galran? What if there was some sort of bomb they needed to diffuse but the instructions were in Galran?

Highly unlikely but you never know. Learning the language of the enemy seemed beneficial. Lance wanted to do anything he could to make him just a little more useful.

He wanted to do as much as he could for his team.

……

With the passing months, it seemed that no one really noticed how much quieter the blue paladin was nowadays, or how his skin didn’t glow as brightly as it did before, or any other changes for that matter. Whether it was because they were too busy with their own work, or if they just simply didn’t care, Lance didn’t know.

Though he hoped it wasn’t the latter.

Lance would visit Blue every day. She was the only one who seemed to get him nowadays. She would listen intently to him whenever he talked to her; be it about his day or his life back on earth- something he deeply missed. From the conversations they had, Blue slowly grew more and more concerned for her paladin and his mental health.

“Blue, do you think I’m doing okay? Like, am I actually helping the team? I don’t want to be a burden or anything...” the Cuban boy would often ask. He squeezed his knees against his chest, leaning against his lion’s paw.

“Do you think... I’ve been doing enough?”

Despite being made of metal, Blue’s heart literally felt as if it was being crushed whenever she saw her precious paladin this way. No Galra blast could ever compare to the amount of pain and ache she felt when she saw the worry and self-loathing on her paladin’s face, and feel his pained emotions through their mental link.

She’d purr softly in his mind, and surrounded him with a comforting presence. Assuring him that, ‘ _Yes, you are doing so great my paladin_.’

And, ‘ _I chose you as the blue paladin and there is no one else in the entire universe better suited or more deserving of the role_.’

He’d look up and give her a small smile. Pet her nose and thanked her for cheering him up… but Blue knew nothing she said would ever be enough.

It was so frustrating. Why couldn’t her paladin just see how absolutely amazing he was? He was brave, kind, caring, selfless, willing to sacrifice himself for the people he cared about without a moments hesitation.

‘ _You don’t need to train so much. You’ve gone above and beyond for the team. You deserve some rest_.’ She would often say. " _You've been working so hard."_

To which Lance would shake his head and reply, ‘No. What I am now, it's not enough.”

“Everyone helps out in some way or another and I’m just… there. I can’t hack or build awesome stuff like Pidge. And Hunk’s the engineer, and boy can that man can cook! Shiro’s the leader, and both him and Keith are awesome in combat. I don’t I’d ever get anywhere close to their level.”

“Then there’s Allura, who helps formulate the battle plans and monitors our training. And of course, Coran helps take care of us when we’re injured and looks over the castle’s maintenance and stuff. They all do so much and are so amazing. While I.. don't really do anything significant.”

“Seriously, what am I even good for? I crack jokes, which probably annoys everyone anyway, and I try to help out around the castle when I can, but otherwise… I’m just the sharpshooter. Don’t think that’s anything to brag about either. I mean, with time, anyone could be a good shot."

 

"I’m replaceable.”

 

Blue’s growl was ignored as Lance continued.

"I need to earn my place on this team. Need to do more. Learn more. Train more.”

"Everything I've done so far, it's still... not enough."

.....

Blue would let out a sigh and simply shake her head.

No one could ever, _ever_ replace her paladin. If only he knew just how wrong he was.

She could see it in the others. How much they cared for him and appreciated him. He was always there to lend an ear when someone was having a bad day. Or would purposely make a fool of himself to make them laugh and try to cheer them up. He would force them, or drag them, to bed when he noticed the bags under theirs eyes, and brought them food when they missed lunch or dinner- too engrossed in their projects to find the time to eat.  

Though they didn’t often show it, and Blue thought they really should show it more often, the team appreciated him and were happy to have him as part of the team.

The team valued him so much…

Why couldn’t he see that?

...

Today, Lance was in the training room again for another one of his nighttime/early morning training sessions. He dodged a punch to his left and another one aimed his head before rolling across the floor. He swerved around the fired 2 shots at the gladiator, both hitting their mark.The gladiator powered off and fell down with a loud ‘thunk’.

While waiting for the next gladiator to enter the room, Lance’s mind began to wander.

 

_**Still so** **weak...** **Keith would have been able to defeat that in half the time.** _

 

Sigh.. and the voice was back.

He remembers when he first started hearing it; about 2 months after he joined the team.

//////

They had just finished one of their hardest training sessions yet, and the team was sitting down on the floor; tired and exhausted.

 _'This training things getting kinda hard. Garrison never had anything like this..._ ' The blue paladin thought to himself. _'I hope I can keep up with the rest of the team_.'

 

**_Pathetic... Is that the best you can do?_ **

 

Lance eyes widened in slight panic. _'Woah what was that?'_

A million different thoughts raced through Lance's mind immediately. _'Did some Galra druid get to me or something during one of those mission? Coz I swear I'm hearing a voice!"_

_'I mean I don't remember anything like that happening.. but what if... They erased my memories about the incident or something? Even Shiro couldn't remember things from when he was with the Galra. Did I let my guard down one mission and something happened?!'_

 

_**But why would a druid even bother with you in the first place?**_

 

_**You are the person with the least value on the team. Do you truly believe you are as important as the others?**_

 

_**If there were going to do something like that, they'd pick someone more worth their time.** _

 

And thats when Lance realised..

That voice he was hearing... it was his own!

_'Oh great.. another thing to add to the never-ending list of 'what's wrong with Lance'. Now I'm even talking to myself.'_

 

_**Is there even anything that's not wrong with you though?** _

 

Lance shook his head hard, hoping to shake away the voice.

"Lance, you okay? You suddenly began shaking your head." Hunk asked him, his face one of concern.

Lance let out a nervous chuckle. "Yeah yeah! Nothing to worry about! Just felt a little dizzy for a second."

He smirked, playing it off like he always did when he as nervous, "Well, these gladiators ain't gonna fight themselves! Let's get moving!"

He brushed it off then, but the voice never stopped. And as the months passed, Lance kept hearing the voice more and more.

 

//////

**_7 th Wheel._ **

 

**_Talentless._ **

 

**_Waste of Space_.**

"...Shut up." Lance whispered softly, trying to keep his focus on the gladiators

 

_**The team deserves someone else. Someone better. Someone that is actually useful to the team.**_

_"Shut up."_

 

_**Whatever you do will never be enough. Why even try?**   _

 

“ **SHUT UP** ” Lance yelled in anguish. He threw his bayard to the side and charged at the gladiators; opting to kick and punch the shit out of them instead. 

He realised some time ago that the more he fought, the more he immersed himself in training, the less he could hear the thoughts. And that's what he was doing now. 

Just focus. Ignore the voice. Ignore the aches and pain. Ignore the throbbing knuckles and hands- he was punching solid metal after all.

By the time the last gladiator fell to the floor, Lance was panting hard. His knuckles were badly bruised, and he had numerous cuts and bruises all around his body. He looked up at the display screen inside the training room and cursed out loud. It was equivalent to 6 in the morning. 

Ah crap. He remembered how Allura had told them the day before that they were going to have an important strategy meeting at 7. He rushed out of the room, a slight limp in his step but he ignored it. He showered, bandaged up his wounds, put on his day clothes, and made his way to the kitchen; where the rest of team was no doubt already eating breakfast. 

 

"Hey Lance, Good Mor- what happened to you?" asked Hunk. 

Lance panicked. He quickly checked his body- were any bandages peeking out from under his jacket sleeves or shirt? Any cuts he forgot to bandage up and were bleeding through? 

 "Yeah Lance, you look like crap." Pidge said bluntly. Shiro and Keith turned to look at him now too, agreeing with Pidge that Lance had definitely seen better mornings. 

Lance sighed in relief. They were just talking about how tired he looked. No surprise there- considering he had just finished fighting against gladiators for 5 hours straight and hadn't slept a wink.

The cuban let out a chuckle. "Thanks Pidgey... Just had a bad night. I obviously didn't get enough _beauty_ sleep, amiright?"

 Hunk laughed, handing his bro a bowl of food goo, while pidge rolled her eyes but her was mouth tilted up in a smile and she let out an amused huff. Keith sighed, used to the cuban's antics and continued to eat his food.

"Are you sure you're okay to sit in for the meeting, Lance?" Shiro asked, his eyebrows furrowed in concern for his teammate. "You better eat anyways, but if you're not feeling well enough, I could always ask Allura to-"

  
"No!" Lance yelled a little too loudly. He cleared his throat and continued. "I mean- No, I'm fine! I'm fine. Just need to fuel up and I'm good to go! I'll feel a lot better once I've eaten." He finished, shovelling a spoonful of food in his mouth. 

Shiro didn't look too convinced, but he let it slide. Perhaps after the meeting he'll have Lance sit out for the afternoon training session and get proper rest.

Always the observant type, Shiro noticed how much the Blue paladin had.. changed in the passing months; though the cuban boy often played it off and hid it well. Sure, Lance still joked and goofed around, but Shiro felt that he was now alot more reserved and not as boisterious as before. He didn't fight as much with Keith, which he guessed was a good thing, and focused more on training; he'd seen amazing improvements in his fighting techinque, but he seemed.. troubled.

He'd really been meaning to have a talk with the Blue paladin, but between his duties as leader, talking over mission strategies with Allura and training, it was hard finding the time to. Not to mention that Lance would always run off somewhere after training and he wouldn't see the Cuban boy till dinner.

After another 15 dobashes, Princess Allura's voice echoed through the castle speakers. Shiro would have to talk to the blue paladin some other time.  

.......

“Lance! Have you listened to anything we’ve been saying?”

A dozing Lance immediately sprung upright. Back straight, face blushing slightly in embarrassment. “S-sorry I didn’t mean to doze off princess..  I just haven't been.. um.. sleeping well...”

“And you didn’t think to notify any of us?” Allura questioned, annoyance clear in her voice. “Lance, that is very irresponsible. What if the Galra were to attack us right this moment? You wouldn’t be top condition, which in turn would endanger the team.”

“Figures.." Keith grumbled. Shaking his head in disappoint at the blue paladin. "You’ve probably been staying up, fooling around doing god knows what instead of sleeping."

“I wasn't fooling around!“ Lance shouted. He could feel his anger starting to bubble up

“The universe is at stake here-" 

“You think I don’t know that!?” Lance answered back, raising his voice.

"-and we don't have time to deal with problems you've cause by goofing off.”

Lance felt something inside him snap.

He had been training! Working himself to exhaustion these past few months to help the team cause he didn't want to get left behind. Did the team not notice any changes to his fighting style? Or how much more skilled he was at hand to hand combat? 

When he sparred with Shiro and Keith, did they not notice how much longer it took now for them to defeat him? Sure he wasn't up to their level, but they had years of training compared to him!

Does this mean.. that despite all the training he'd done so far, he wasn't improving as much as he thought he was? 

 

_**Nothing you do will ever be enough...** _

_No.. please.. not again.._

 

_**Compared to them, you are nothing...** _

_**They'd be much better off without you...** _

_**Should find someone more capable for the job..** _

 

_**You don't deserve to be a part of the team.** _

 

“Lance, Keith, stop it." Shiro got between the two, stopping the fight from escalating further. "You guys need to go cool down. Now. The meeting is postponed till later.”

Lance physically sagged, immediately hating himself. Because of him, they now had to postpone the meeting.

Yet another problem he caused the team. The voices were right. He didn't deserve his place on the team among such amazing, talented people.

But.. 

They were like his second family now and.. he didn't want to get left behind.

He _wanted_ to stay with them.

He _wanted_ to be apart of the team.

He wanted to prove to them that he was good enough to stand beside them as comrades. 

As fellow paladins of Voltron. 

 _'Train. Need to.. train more_.' Lance turned around, not looking at his teammates faces as he left the meeting hall and headed straight for the training room. 

He walked to the centre of the room, clutching his Bayard beside him and yelled to the castle system to begin. 

“Set at Level 30! Commence Gladiator training!” he shouted, tears welling up in his eyes.

More, more. He needed to do more. Be better. Help the team.

Trap doors opened up from the ceiling, dropping 10 gladiators at once. He knew there were many more to come, so Lance shook his head and readied his bayard. “I can do this.” He whispered, blinking back the tears.  

“Forget the thoughts. Focus on helping the team.”

"Do more. Need to do more."

 

_**Nothing you do will ever be enough.** _

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp I tried. Angst obviously isn't my thing but I thought I'd have a go at it.  
> Do let me know how it was. Did you enjoy it? Was it okay? Did I... do enough?? Okay imma stop.
> 
> There'll probably be one more chapter after this. Stay tuned for that! :D


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys guys Sorry it's been awhile since I posted, but I have some important news!  
> Firstly, I don't think this is going to end up a two-shot like I had originally planned. :L I honestly don't know how many chapters it'll end up being, definitely no more than 5 though- I usually write however much I feel the story needs. 
> 
> Secondly, beloved readers who subscribed to the chapter or have read the first chapter when I first published it, please know that I have UPDATED it and CHANGED a few things. I added a small part with Shiro POV, so please feel free to re-read it :) It's honestly not that important to the storyline, so you can skip it too! I just thought it would be nice to inform those of you wanted to read it :) 
> 
> Welp, that's all from me. Enjoy the Story ^_^

The sliding doors whooshed to a close behind Lance, who had just stormed out of the room. Worried about his best friend and his abrupt departure, Hunk had run him and called out.

“Lance, wait up!” He hollered as he came out into the hallway.

The Cuban didn’t seem to hear him or simply decided to ignore the call, continuing his run down the hall and disappeared around the corner. Hunk slowed down his chase until he came to a stop, standing in the middle of the hallway. He listened as the sound of his friend’s fast-paced footsteps continued to pad down another corridor until the sound faded and all he could hear was the gentle humming of the ship.

The yellow paladin let out a sigh, dragging his hand down the back of his neck. Hunk recalled how back at the Garrison, Lance would always disappear and isolate himself whenever he felt down or depressed. He’d come back to their room a few hours later, and Hunk would plop down next to him on his bed and they would talk through it, ending the moment with a bro hug.

Come to think of it.. Hunk suddenly thought, his eyebrows scrunching down into a frown, it had been quintents since Lance last sat down and talked about his feelings like that. Sure, they still hung out and talked, but it was never anything too deep or personal. Had Lance been bottling it all up till now?

“How could I not have noticed that?” he berated himself. “Some best bro I am..”

Hunk stared down the hallway for a few more ticks, unmoving, before finally forcing himself to turn around the head towards the kitchen; hoping to distract himself by preparing lunch. Of course, Hunk wanted nothing more than to sprint after Lance, crush him in a bear hug and apologize, but…

‘No, no, he probably wouldn’t appreciate you interrupting him right now.’ Hunk told himself. ‘He’ll need his alone time and after that, we’ll talk it out we used to. Then… you apologize for being a dick to your best friend'.

Hunk’s expression changed into a grimace. “I hope he’ll forgive me.” He thought as he dragged himself through the kitchen doors.

Later on, Hunk would wish he’d spoken to Lance sooner.

//////////////

A few vargas passed, and it was finally lunchtime. The rest of the team and the Alteans assembled in the kitchen, took their seats and started to slowly eating their food goo. The obvious lack of noise and laughter made them feel uncomfortable and tense; the room lacked its usual happy, carefree vibe. One by one, sometime during the meal, each member would turn and glance at the empty seat- it’s usual occupant missing.

Allura bit her bottom lip, guilt shining in her pale eyes as she stirred her goo around it’s bowl. After Lance’s sudden departure, followed by a shouting Hunk, the rest of the team dispersed. Shiro pulled Allura aside as she was about to leave and explained to her why Lance had trouble focusing earlier. Now, she felt deep regret for her previous actions; knowing she had overreacted and should not have been so quick to judge him.

She was hoping to apologize to the blue paladin during lunch, but now felt even worse when she realized he hadn’t even shown up.

Hunk fidgeted in his seat for all of 5 minutes before setting his spoon down with a ‘clink’ and getting up from his chair. It had already been a few vargas since he last saw Lance, and Hunk could no longer be patient and wait; his worry for his friend outweighed everything else.

“I think I’ll go look for Lance. It’s been awhile and I wanna go see if he’s alright.” Hunk said to the rest of the group, concern lined his features.

To everyone's surprise, Keith stood up as well. “I’ll help you search for him.”

Pidge gave him an uncertain look. “You sure that’s such a good idea, Keith? I mean-“

“I know, I know.” Keith interjected. He frowned at the table and remained silent for a few ticks, before letting out a soft grumble and sighed. “It's my fault for going off on him like that earlier.. He said he wasn’t feeling well in the morning during breakfast and I still riled him up.”

Hunk nodded at him; grateful for the help and pleased to know that Keith felt bad for what he said to Lance earlier and wanted to make amends.

“Sure. I’ll go search the rooms and the bridge. Maybe you start at the training deck and from there you can check the pod room and med center?”

“Alright.” Keith agreed.

Allura started to stand up as well, “I would also like to-“, she cut off as she felt Shiro gently grab her arm.

“I’m sure Hunk and Keith can handle it, Allura. You can apologize to Lance after they get him.”

The Altean princess hesitated for a moment, uncertain.

“I’m sure the boys will find him, Allura.” Coran reassured her.

“Yeah, don’t worry about it.” Hunk smiled. “We’ll have him back here in a couple of ticks.”

Allura remained standing, contemplating over what the rest had said before she finally relented; nodding her head and moved to sit back down. Keith and Hunk gave a small wave to the 4 remaining members, before heading out of the kitchen and splitting up; each walking down separate hallways. Hopefully, one of them would find Lance soon.

////////

It was really fortunate that Hunk had told Keith to check the training room first, because that’s exactly where the red paladin found him.

However, it was definitely not how Keith ever expected to find him.

Instead of heading straight for the training room, Keith decided to check the observation deck that overlook the training room first.

“Lance?” He called out, walking around the deck. “You here?” he stepped around the consoles and peered casually into the training room below.

Keith froze; eyebrows raised and eyes widened in shock. 

There, in the center of the training room, was none other than Lance… Surrounded by mountains and mountains of broken gladiators. Their bodies were littered with holes, dents, and some even seemed to have had their limbs ripped out; the exposed wires protruding from their sockets let out tiny sparks. The most unnerving thing about the gladiators though was that some had smears of blood on them. Considering the gladiators were robots and therefore didn’t bleed, Keith knew exactly whose blood stained the metal bodies.

Keith stared at Lance who was panting hard; shoulders shaking from exhaustion. From the training room speakers, he could hear the Cuban’s pained rasps and winced. From the sounds of it, Lance had to have broken, or at least bruised, a rib or two.

The blue paladin’s clothes were ripped and torn, especially along the arms. Through the cuts and holes in the clothes, Keith could see the open wounds. Streams of blood leaked out from the cuts and stained the fabric of his shirt and pants a deep red color. Apart from red, Lance’s skin was also splotched with purples, blues and red marks, no doubt the sign of bruises beginning to form on his body.

In the middle of the room, Lance began wobbling unsteadily on his feet- no doubt on the verge of collapsing.

Realizing what was about to happen, Keith quickly pushed the ‘Emergency’ button on the console. Once he heard the sirens begin to blare and echo throughout the castle, the red paladin immediately broke into a sprint, practically flying out of the room and towards the main training room doors.

“Lance!!” Keith yelled as doors swooshed opened and he rushed into the room. His heart thudded painfully against his chest, the worry and fear for his teammate and friend overwhelming him.

Lance tried to turn around at the sound of his name, but the motion made him lose his balance and his legs finally gave up trying to support his weight. Keith managed to grab a hold him just before he hit the ground. He pitched forwards from Lance’s dead weight and dropped down onto his knees; moving to cradle Lance in his arms just like he did all those months ago.

“What the hell were you doing Lance!? Are you crazy!?” Keith shouted. He didn’t mean to raise his voice, but the whole situation and Lance’s condition was, to be honest, scaring him.

“Need… I need to... more...”

Keith paused. “…What are you talking about?” he asked the dazed paladin beneath him. 

“Damn it.. I.. troubled y-you guys again.. Can’t… do anything right. Always... so useless.” Lance managed to say between groans and gasps. 

He let out a shaky breath. "Need.. to do more.. not strong.. enough yet."

Seeing the horrified look on Keith’s face, Lance tried to reassure him. “I’m sorry.. it’s nothing.. to worry about. Just need a bit of.. shut eye and I’ll b-be fine.”

Keith suddenly let out a growl, face twisting in anger. “What you _need_ is a healing pod! Sleep isn’t going to heal cuts and broken ribs!”

The display screen above started blinking catching Keith’s attention. Keith looked up at the screen and audibly sucked in air. “Level 30?! That’s the level we usually do as a team! And you just did level 30 on your own?!”

The training room’s doors whoosed open once again. A panicked Keith and semi-unconcious lance turned their heads just in time to see the rest of their team, including Hunk, run into the room.

“Keith! What’s happening? Why did you trigger th- Holy Quiznak, Lance!” Pidge shouted, face twisted in horror. Never before had she seen the blue paladin so hurt and in obvious pain.

Coran ran in behind Pidge, his orange eyebrows rose in concern as he took in Lance's condition. “My boy! Are you Alright? What caused this? Was it another malfunction?” 

Behind him, Allura gasped out, stunned into silence. Her lip quivered as she brought her hands up to cover her mouth while looking at the injured paladin.

“Lance!!” Hunk skidded to a stop beside Keith and grabbed onto one of this best friend’s hands with shaking hands. His bottom of his eyelids grew wet as he held the hand gently, rubbing it with his thumb in circular motions.

Lance gazed at Hunk through half-lidded eyes. "Hunk.. Sorry I.." he gulped, too embarassed to say anything else.

How could he let the team find him like this? Now they could truly see how weak and pathetic he was. He wasn't strong enough yet. He didn't deserve to be one of them yet. Didn't deserve their worry and care. 

But..

Despite everything he thought.. he couldn't bring himself to pull his hand away from Hunk's kind and caring touch. Couldn't stop his heart warming as he looked at his teammates worried, pained stares.

Shiro knelt down in front of Lance, taking in every cut and bruise. “What happened?” he asked, his voice hard as steel.

Keith shook his head. “We’ll need to figure it out later Shiro, we need to get him to a healing pod! Now! He's really hurt.”

The group nodded immediately, agreeing whole-heartedly with the red paladin. Coran ran out of the room, quickly returning a few ticks later with a gurney. Shiro and Hunk helped Keith lift Lance up onto the gurney, placing the injured Cuban down carefully and securing him, before the entire group began speed walking to the medical bay. Halfway there, Lance finally lost conciousness. Hunk reached down to grip Lance's hand gently but firmly in his own, as he jogged beside the gurney that was being pushed by Coran.

*Upon entering the pod room, Coran immediately got to work. Grabbing the medical tool kit, he began carefully stitching up the cuts on his arms first. Allura and Pidge assisted him, handing him the tools and needed. They also helped to wipe away the blood, then disinfecting and bandaging the wounds.

They moved on to the cuts and bruises on his body next. While removing his shirt, Coran let out a sharp gasp.

"Coran? What's wrong?" Shiro asked leaning over to look at Lance's chest.

The black paladin's eyes widened. In the middle of Lance's chest, was a big, ugly bruise, no doubt where a gladiator managed to land a hard blow. The area was already beginning to swell, Lance's brown skin turning a purplish-deep red color.

"I believe some of his ribs may be broken." Coran gulped. "Unfortunately, theres nothing I can do. We will have to leave it to the pod."

Shiro could do nothing by nod as Coran continued to remove the clothing.

"He has so many scars.." Pidge said. Her voice barely above a whisper.

Keith couldn't pull his eyes away as they continued to work on Lance. "Some of these look weeks old. How long has he been doing this for? And how often?"

"How did I not notice all of this till now?" Hunk practically growled. Voice full of self-loathing. "I bet you this is the reason he's been looking so tired lately. Having trouble sleeping my foot! He was probably up doing this last night.That's why he was so tired this morning."

Shiro laid a hand on Hunk's shoulder, trying to calm him. Shaking his head he said, "No Hunk, it's not your fault. Lance didn't want anyone to know, and he hid it well. If anyone's to blame, it's me. I've noticed how much more different he's been acting lately and took too long to confront him about it."

"No.. I believe we are all to blame." Allura said, frowning sadly. "We failed to see how much Lance was been suffering these past quintents. How can we call ourselves a team when one of our own has been injuring himself.. and we all failed to notice."

No one spoke after that. Each person realising with how right the Altean princess was. And they hated themsleves for it. They all stared with Lance, his shallow breaths and wheezes the only thing cutting through the silence. Coran, Allura and Pidge continued to work as the remaning 3 paladins could do nothing with watch.

//////

After Coran finished stitching the last cut, the team helped Lance changed into the white med suit. Allura and Coran moved over to the console to prepare the pod.

"The pod's set. You can put him in now." Coran said when all the preparations were complete.

The boys lifted Lance and carefully placed him into the pod. The glass 'door' slid up moments after, sealing the blue paladin inside and starting the healing process.

The two aliens and four humans stared in concern at their friend through the glass of the pod that had now frosted over. They wondered what could have compelled lance to do something this. To let himself be hurt in such a way. Why.. why hadn't he come to one of them to talk things out? 

No..no, this wasn't Lance's fault in any shape or form. THEY should have noticed something was wrong and come to him sooner. After all, when one of them was feeling down or overworked and stressed, who was the one who would make a fool of himself or joke around just to cheer them up? Lance. Or if one of them needed to let out a cry  or let loose a rant, who was there to lend a comforting presence and listen to their troubles? Lance.

Yet.. they never did the same for him. Of course, he was just like them. He had to have his own frustrations.. His own fears. How could they have just turned away and forgot about all that? Some team they were..

Interruping their thoughts, a loud roar resounded throughout the castle. So loud in fact, that the entire castle shook from the sound alone.

"Woahhh! Whats going on?" Hunk shouted trying to regain his balance.

“It's Blue!" Keith yelled, recognizing the Lion's roar.

PIdge's eyes widened. "Maybe she can tell us what's going on with Lance!"

Coran volunteered to stay back to monitor the pod and it's occupant while the rest of the team ran towards the hanger. Of course, he wanted to know as much as everyone else what was going on with Lance, but the team would just have to fill him in later.

As the group approached the hanger, Blue let out another roar; once again shaking the castle and it's occupants.

"Blue! We're here!" Keith yelled as they entered the room, running immediately towards the distressed Blue lion.

The blue coloured sentient being was lying down on her four legs, belly flat on the floor. She held her head between her front paws and let out sad rumbles which sounded like sobs. The other Lions who could see, and feel, her worry and despair were gathered around her; trying to comfort her.

The paladins slowed down to a stop in front of her, understanding exactly what she was feeling and why she was acting this way. No doubt, she already knew what had happened to Lance from the bond they shared.

 _"Paladins..."_ a voice entered their minds, startling them. _"My sisters have lent me their strength so that I may speak to you through my bond."_

_"You are here for answers, yes? About my paladin.... About my Lance."_

Even through her voice, they could sense her deep sorrow and worry for her paladin. It was no surprise that Blue and Lance shared the closest bond amongst them all. They could always feel it whenever the two were together, or when they formed Voltron.

"Yes, Blue. Please... tell us." Hunk pleaded with the Lion. He turned to look at Keith, Allura, Shiro and Pidge who looked back at him. They all nodded in agreement before turning back to face Blue; determination in their eyes. 

"We need to know."

The floor rumbled as Blue slowly sat up, her front legs pushing herself into a sitting position. Her eyes began glowing a bright yellow as she stared down at the group before her.

_"Then... I will show you."_

_...._

_"Everything."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes yesss I know it's very cliche- Blue lion mind linking with the team and showing them Lance's memories, or showing them her conversations with Lance through her own eyes, but that's how I saw things progressing :)  
> I just hope you guys like it :L 
> 
> * As I still haven't watched past those 5 episodes of Voltron (I'm getting to it! I've just been very busy!) I'm unsure of how the whole healing procedure goes. I mean, I've seen the episode where were Lance shielded Coran and ended up in the pod.. but I'm not sure it the pod helps with cuts? So.. I just did my own thing :L
> 
> If there are anything spelling/grammar mistakes, please feel free to msg me or comment below. Thank you! :D


End file.
